Call Me Crazy: A Rant on the Absurdity of Calling a Mother Over-Qualified

So there's a phrase I've heard many times now from good-intentioned women, whom I believe were trying to prevent me from accumulating a fortune in student loans or to lower my stress level or to simply encourage me to devote time to my family. While the intentions of these women may have been good...I gotta say...the phrase just bothers me. Really bothers me. The phrase?..."Don't over-qualify yourself to raise your children." Okay...what?

Now that I have children, I don't believe this is possible. How could I OVER-qualify myself for such an important job? Mothering is a time demanding, highly rewarding job. It calls for a vast set of skills, and it is a charge with eternal significance.

The point behind the "don't over-qualify yourself..." statement would often be something along the lines of "Why spend 200,000 dollars on a law degree and fill your head with all sorts of legal knowledge, if you are going to stay at home with your kids and not practice law?" I'll tell you why, or at least why according to this mom: We all have interests, passions, and strengths which can create in us a desire to master certain subjects and areas, and to pursue these interests, passions, and strengths can be a wonderful thing. Some women may want to learn to play Bach Inventions flawlessly on the piano. Some may want to become a licensed therapist. Some may want to attend night school to earn their high school diploma. Others might want to work hours in the kitchen to develop the best sweet potato pie recipe in town. And whether or not these women choose to use these accomplishments in the work force now, never, or later...guess what?...the skills and experiences gained through the process of achieving these goals can certainly help qualify one in a unique way for motherhood.

Many times I have heard people comment on the waste of money a Masters Degree is for a stay-at-home mom. This just gets under my skin. Waste? Really? Even if I never teach, instruct, or facilitate another class in my life, I can say with confidence that I will use my MFA as a mother. Maybe my kids will be encouraged by my experience to dedicate themselves to their education. I'll be better prepared to help with their literary education and hopefully help them to develop a love of books. Or maybe the life lessons I learned while working late hours on my school work will help me to better manage my time and follow through with other commitments. The process of borrowing and repaying student loans will help me to responsibly manage my family's finances. And I cannot tell you how many times the random knowledge I have from college courses like "The History of Fashion" come up in conversations and provide answers to questions from family members like "When is this movie set?"...ha...like I said, random. I could go on and on and on and on about the benefits I see in my life and the lives of mothers around me, who use what they know or what they have done to fulfill the role of mother in one way or another. And I'm sure most mothers could go on and on and on with their own examples, too. Whether a mom has a high school diploma or a doctorate, and whether she completed an apprenticeship with a woodworker or has a certificate for yoga instruction, I'll bet you she is not "over" qualified as a mother.

And maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm just speaking for myself here, but it seems to me that children can benefit from highly educated, well-disciplined, or uniquely talented moms. Call me crazy. Just don't call me over-qualified.